


my heart like a kickdrum

by Dresupi



Series: Ficlet Collections [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: 6 Sentence Fiction, Alternate Universe, Bodyswap, Deaf Clint Barton, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff, Prompt Fic, Restraints, Smut, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:21:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 11,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: A collection of all the prompt shorts I've written for this pairing.  Ratings will vary by chapter.  I'll mark explicit shorts with an *.  None of these are connected or in the same universe unless otherwise implied.First chapter is the table of contents.





	1. Table of Contents

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kjs_s](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjs_s/gifts), [georgiagirlagain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgiagirlagain/gifts), [Hollyspacey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollyspacey/gifts), [uconnhuskiesfan_wintershockship](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uconnhuskiesfan_wintershockship/gifts), [coffeeandtv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandtv/gifts), [fanaticreader16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanaticreader16/gifts), [Holieshka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holieshka/gifts), [phoenix_173](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenix_173/gifts), [nightgigjo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightgigjo/gifts), [ozhawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozhawk/gifts), [justduck82](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justduck82/gifts), [JanetSnakehole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanetSnakehole/gifts), [aspiring_trashfire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspiring_trashfire/gifts), [Queenspuppet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenspuppet/gifts).



1\.  Table of Contents

2\.  "[Are you feeling alright? You don't look it" Darcy questioned him.  for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267072)

3\.  "[Whose dog is that?' for kjs-s](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267093)

4\.   ***** '[Beg' for georgiagirlagain](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267105)

5\.  '[Accidental Cuddles' for hollyspacey](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267153)

6\.  "[Because I love you, okay?", 'Late night' and "Disastrous date' for huskiesfan-olicity-wintershock](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267168)

7\.  '[Sleeping in' for tardisinmywardrobe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267180)

8\.  '[Harry Potter AU' for sarbear1610](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267201)

9\.  "[Why would you put that there?" Bodyswap AU for phoenix-173](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267282)

10\.  '[Wild West AU' for holieshka](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267300)

11\.  '[Circus AU' for tardisinmywardrobe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267315)

12\.  '[Pumpkin Pies' for sarbear1610](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267330)

13\.   ***** '[Restrain, Lick, Ice' for tardisinmywardrobe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19267396)

14\.  "[What the hell was that noise?" for unified-multiversal-theory](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/19334428)

15\.  '[You and Me' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/23525394)

16\.  '[Float On' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/23525823)

17\.   ***** '[Wingfic; Texture play (feathers)' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/24317514)

18\.   ***** '[Biting; Frottage; Semi-Public' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/24368844)

19\.  '[Help!' for midnightmaven](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25419852)

20\.  '[Eleanor Rigby' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25419879)

21\.  '[Honey Don't' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25419915)

22\.  '[Cooking Class' for itsjanetsnakehole](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25419927)

23\.  '[Livin' La Vida Loca' for sarbear1610](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25419948)

24\.  '[Ain't no Man' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25419978)

25\.  '[Stuck in the Middle With You' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25419996)

26\.  '[Why Do You Only Call Me When You're High?" for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25420017)

27\.  '[Today Was a Fairytale' for ozhawk](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25420032)

28\.  '[All Mixed Up' for justduck82](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/25420053)

29\.  '[Coffee Shop AU' for aspiring-trashfire](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/26628048)

30\.  '[Best Angle' for sarbear1610](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/26858064)

31\.  '[Runaway Bride' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/26858121)

32\.  '[Property of Darcy Lewis' for sarbear1610](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/26858139)

33\.  '[Fairs' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/27359628)

34\.  '[Hoodies' for queenspuppet](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/27359658)

35\.  '[Knitting' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/27359691)

36.  '[Thank goodness you're here!' for anon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/31166253)

37.  '[Bed sharing' for sarastark](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/31166310)

38.  '[Crocheting' for anon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/33226917)

39.  '[Dragons' for bylillian](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/33652434)

40.  '[Kitten therapy' for anon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/33803976)

41.  '[Soulmates' for ficsandteamakeahappyme](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408446/chapters/34178532)


	2. '“Are you feeling alright? You don’t look it," Darcy questions him' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 27 February 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/140073847969/are-you-feeling-alright-you-dont-look-it).

Clint raised his head, his eyes slowly opening.  “What makes you say that?”  he asked.  

“Oh geez, I dunno…the bloodshot eyes, the way you’re groaning in pain every 30 seconds…”  

“Why’d you let me drink so much last night?” he asked, letting out one of those groans as he lowered his head back to the table.  

“LET you?  In what way could I have stopped you?” she laughed, sliding two aspirin and a glass of water towards him.

“We could have done the thing that I wanted to do…wouldn’t have killed ya…” he grumbled, taking the aspirin and chugging the water.  

“And I told you that the only way I was doing that was if I’d had something to drink first.  Not my fault you got confused…”


	3. "Whose dog is that?" for kjs-s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 23 July 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/147860360584/darcyclint-with-whose-dog-is-that-please).

Darcy motioned towards the tiny terrier mix that had fallen in step with Lucky since they’d left the dog park.  

Clint’s brow furrowed and he skidded to a halt, kneeling to check the dog for a collar.  “No idea…maybe he’s chipped, though…we should take him by the shelter.”  

They made a hard right at the next intersection, arriving at the shelter just before the desk attendant was leaving for the day.  She scanned the dog multiple times, not finding a chip.  “He’s been neutered, though…he has a family somewhere…”  

Darcy and Clint looked at each other for a brief second before he turned back to the attendant.  “We’ll take care of him until we can find his family…”  

A half hour later, they left the shelter with all the necessary paperwork filled out, their foster furbaby tucked into Darcy’s arms and a full day of posting flyers at the dog park planned.  

“I’m calling him Oliver…” Darcy informed Clint.  

“Why Oliver?”  

She shrugged.  “I dunno.  He looks Dickensian?”  

Clint frowned, “Is that a new breed, or…”    


	4. *'Beg' for georgiagirlagain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 1 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148312185929/clintdarcy-beg).

Clint swore she did this to hear him beg.  

And Jesus Christ, he fucking loved it.  

Loved feeling her bounce in his lap, her fingers in his hair, her walls squeeze him so fucking tightly, he thought his head was going to pop off.  

“Darce…” he rasped against her throat the second time she stilled.  “Please…please don’t stop…”  

She nuzzled his nose with hers, kissing him deeply as she thankfully started moving again, swallowing his moans.  He only broke off the kiss when his cock jerked inside her.  When he came.  Just so he could whisper his thanks into her hair as he shook apart in her arms.  


	5. 'Accidental Cuddles' for hollyspacey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 6 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148565400294/aww-love-these-can-i-get-darcyclint-accidental).

Clint was still awake when Darcy threw her arm across his waist, burying her head against his chest.

He contemplated carrying her over to the bed, but decided against it.  She might wake up.  And this wasn’t hurting anything.  Not really. They’d done this before.  She’d never freaked out or anything.  

She’d been through a lot. And she’d been really…cuddly today anyway.  She deserved a snuggle in her sleep.  And it just so happened that Clint was a pretty snuggly guy if the mood struck him.

Funny how the mood only seemed to strike him around Darcy Lewis.    


	6. "Because I love you, okay?", 'Late night' and 'Disastrous Date' for huskiesfan-olicity-wintershock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 6 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148567224914/3-5-buckyclintdarcy-4-14-buckyclint).

“Look, hey…I’m sorry tonight wasn’t…” Clint trailed off when Darcy kissed him, her lips moving steadily against his before she released him with a pop.  

“Clint…it was perfect.”

“No…no, it wasn’t…” He cringed inwardly when he thought about the disaster that was their first anniversary date.  It was _supposed_ to be perfect.  But as was the case with everything he _touched_ that wasn’t a bow and arrow _,_ it was far from the mark.

“Look, don’t worry, Clint…really…”  

“Darcy…” he protested. “Darcy, I had this whole thing planned and it didn’t work out and now…”  

“Who cares, Clint?  I got to spend time with you!”

“I care, Darcy. Because I love you, okay?  And I wanted…I wanted tonight to be—“  She cut him off again with another kiss.  

“I love you too, Clint Barton.”    

_Perfect._


	7. 'Sleeping in' for tardisinmywardrobe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 6 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148567927929/hi-for-the-six-sentence-saturday-can-i-please).

Darcy slipped back under the covers, only to be pulled close by Clint.  He pulled her back to their original position, where she was the little spoon and he was stroking her hair.  

Clint peppered kisses down her neck, starting from right behind her ear.  It tickled; she laughed.  He tightened his grip because this was the one morning they could be lazy in bed and he didn’t want to get up until they absolutely had to.  

Absolutely-had-to-o’clock turned out to be ten a.m.  They had a brunch to go to.  

A brunch to which they might have ended up a few minutes late.  


	8. 'Harry Potter AU' for sarbear1610

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 12 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148864843319/clintdarcy-harry-potter-au).

“You sure you’re ready for this, Lewis?”  Clint grinned and readied his wand.  “I’m pretty quick on the draw.”  

Darcy kept her face blank and readied hers as well.  “Bring it, Hawkguy.”  

Clint _was_ pretty quick on the draw.  But Darcy had excelled at shield charms.  

“ _Protego!”_

The simplest version of the spell blocked every spell hurled at her by Clint.  And in the end, it was simply a matter of waiting him out.  

“ _Expelliarmus!”_ She smirked as Clint’s wand flew into her hand. “And to get back at you for taunting me… _Aguamenti!”_ Clint spluttered as water sprayed in his face.  

“I concede…” he held his hands up.  “Have mercy, please.”  Darcy giggled and handed him his wand back.  “You have GOT to help me with my shield charms.”  

“Obviously.”    


	9. "Why would you put that there?" 'Bodyswap AU' for phoenix-173

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 13 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148887162794/clintdarcy-why-would-you-put-that-there).

Darcy still wasn’t used to the way Clint’s voice felt coming out of her (his) mouth.  She really hoped Jane fixed this, and soon.  It was becoming more difficult to pretend that there was nothing wrong.  People were starting to suspect.  

Clint looked at her. It was her face with a decidedly CLINT expression; it was so bizarre.  He gestured with the eyeliner pencil.  “Where does this go then?”  

“It’s eyeliner!  It lines your eyes!  Please don’t use the ‘blackest black’ eyeliner on my eyebrows.”  

He muttered under his breath, “Told you I shouldn’t have washed it off last night. “  


	10. 'Old West AU' for holieshka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 13 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148910615299/clintdarcy-old-west-au).

“Listen here, Sweetheart…” Clint walked over to the jail cell she was in.  “All they’re wantin’ is an apology.  Say you’re sorry and I can let ya out.”  

Darcy rolled her eyes. Sure he would.  And then they’d hunt her down again.  She knew how this went.  Sheriff Barton was a nice guy for sure.  But he was young.  And she could kind of tell that the other people in town didn’t exactly respect him.

“How about…you tell me that you agree with what I said?  That those men didn’t have any right to touch those women, no matter what they do for a livin’…and then you and me…we blow this one-horse town?”

Clint chuckled.  “It’ll be a no-horse town if I blow outta here.”

She smirked. “Is that a yes?”  

He hesitated.  She saw it in his eyes.  But he nodded.  “Yeah. That’s a yes.”


	11. 'Circus AU' for tardisinmywardrobe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 13 August 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/148911700019/clintdarcy-circus-au).

“Step right up, folks, step right up and see the amazing Hawkeye and his assistant, Darcy!”  Phil’s voice boomed loudly over top of the dull roar that was the crowd around them.  

Darcy yanked at her tights one last time and stepped out of the curtain to slight applause and one wolf whistle.  The sequins on her outfit were glittering brightly in the lights.  

“Step right up and watch as he showcases his perfect aim!”  

Darcy stepped in front of the target, holding her arms in the way she’d grown accustomed.  

She grinned widely as Clint stepped out from behind the curtain as well, grinning widely and holding up his bow.  

Failing industry or no, she wouldn’t give up a single moment.


	12. 'Pumpkin Pies' for sarbear1610

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 3 September 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/149958018224/darcyclint-pumpkin-pies).

“That is a LOT of pie filling…” Clint said, eyeing the huge bowl of pumpkin.  “How do you get it into the shells?”  

Darcy sighed, “That’s what I was just wondering…I don’t know why I used such a big bowl…” She gestured to the six shells over beside the oven.  “You wanna pour while I switch out shells?”  

“That’s gonna make a mess….”

“It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a huge mess.  C’mon, Biceps, get the bowl.”  


	13. *'Restrain, Lick, Ice' for tardisinmywardrobe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 30 September 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/151154630139/clintdarcy-11-14-18).

Clint stiffened, yanking on the restraints while Darcy popped another ice cube into her mouth, crunching loudly.  

He whined, his legs shaking as she licked up the length of his shaft. The ice cold temperature was shocking to his aching erection.  

She sucked him into her mouth, icy cold and yet warm to hot the further back she took him.  He fought back the urge to fuck into her throat, letting her get there at her pace.  

“Darcy…” he mumbled. “Christ…”  She hummed around him and he almost lost it right there.  


	14. "What the hell was that noise?" for unified-multiversal-theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 30 October 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/152538778254/clintdarcy-wth-was-that-noise).

Clint frowned and gestured vaguely to his ears.  Darcy sighed and signed, “Sorry…I know you didn’t hear it…”  

“What did it sound like?” he asked.  

“A door slamming…” Darcy answered.  

“Maybe it’s a door?” he shrugged comically.  She swatted him and stood up to go check it out. She wandered into the kitchen, hearing a distinct scratching at the pantry door.  She exhaled loudly, reaching over to open the door and let Lucky out of his accidental prison.  

She ducked back into the den.  “It’s fine,” she signed.  “Lucky locked himself in the pantry again.”


	15. 'You and Me' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 10 April 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/159439097009/you-and-me-by-lifehouse-with-taserhawk).
> 
> Song is 'You and Me' - Lifehouse.

Maybe it was the concussion.  But Darcy looked like she had fairy lights in her hair.  In her eyes.  

Fairy lights…

Clint grinned and reached for her, running his fingers through her silky brown hair.  She smiled, her blue eyes crinkling in the corners.  

When she talked, he couldn’t pick out the words…her lips were too red.  Too gorgeous.  

“You’re so futzing gorgeous, Darcy…” he mumbled.  “Wanna kiss you…”  

Laughing, she reached for his hand, holding it in both of hers.  “You must have really hit your head, Barton.  You’re talking crazy.”  

“Nah.  It just knocked some sense into me.  Why aren’t we together?”  

“Because you’re concussed.”  

“Well, this shouldn’t last long.  What are you doing later?  After my brain gets unscrambled?”  

She pressed his hand back onto his chest and patted it warmly.  “Ask me again post-unscrambling.”


	16. 'Float On' For anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 11 April 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/159477332149/taserhawk-float-on-modest-mouse).
> 
> Song is 'Float On' - Modest Mouse.

Darcy let her head rest against the steering wheel of her car, in complete disbelief at her rotten luck.  

“Why…ohmygod, why…” she bemoaned down to her feet.  The sickening crunch of her bumper’s love connection with the squad car behind her was still fresh in her mind.  

“Well, well, well, young lady…” The voice that reached her ears wasn’t that of a disgruntled cop, though.

She looked up immediately into the warm, friendly eyes of her favorite archer assassin.  “Oh my god, Clint.”  She wasn’t sure why he was here, but she was so glad to see him, she could just…kiss him.  Or something a little less weird.

He smiled down at her, resting his hands on her car door.  “I’ve got an in with the cops in this neighborhood…lemme see what I can do for ya, sweetheart.”

“My hero!” she called after him.     

* * *

As the jail cell door closed in front of them, she couldn’t help but laugh.  “Clint.  How could you possibly make this worse?”  

He shook his head.  “I don’t wanna hear it, Lewis.  Just…use your phone call to call Stark, okay?”  

“Why can’t _you_ call him?”   

“Because.  He said if I called him to bail my ass out of jail one more time, he was going to leave me here.”  

Darcy shook her head, not really in disbelief, but in <something alright. “Do you at least get us an Avengers discount on the bail?”  

“No,” he said angrily, folding his arms over his chest.  

“You asked, didn’t you?  Oh my gosh.  Clint.  I love you.”


	17. 'Wingfic; Texture play (feathers)' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 8 May 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/160465095769/taserhawk-wingfic-3-with-feathers).

Clint’s wings fluttered as he extended them.  He arched an eyebrow as he reached for a feather, plucking it and holding it between two fingers.  

Darcy sucked in a breath as he dragged it over one nipple, swirling it over the stiff peak before switching to the other.  

“You like?” he murmured, dragging the feather further down her body.  To ghost over her mound before he spread her legs, softly petting her clit with the feather.  “Does it feel good?”  

“Fuck yes…” she whimpered.  


	18. *'Biting; Frottage; Semi-Public' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 19 May 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/160856834144/taserhawk-2-6-12)

Darcy whimpered, but Clint swallowed the sound.  He pressed her back against the wall, his hand slipping up under her skirt.  

“Shhh…” he murmured.  “Someone’s gonna hear you if you keep carryin’ on like that…”  His dextrous fingers rubbed against her clit, through the thin silk panties she was wearing.

“Carrying on like what?” Her teeth scraped against his throat, drawing sounds from him that she knew he’d deny making later.  

She bit down gently, increasing the pressure until he groaned against her, dragging her hand down to cup him in his pants.  She giggled and stroked him through his sweat pants.  

“You can hush with that judgemental giggling…”  Clint muttered.  “Watch it or I’ll get on my knees and make you scream.”  

“That a promise?”


	19. 'Help!' for midnightmaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 6 January 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/136785433979/hi-could-you-please-do-taserhawk-clint).

“Darcy…please just…get me the knife from my tactical belt…”  

“I’m sorry…I don’t think I heard you right, Agent Barton.  You’re asking the ‘damsel in distress’ for help?”  

He groaned, “Darce, I’m sorry I said it.  You know I get cocky when I rescue people.  It’s the adrenaline. Plus, I’d just shot a guy standing in front of you. I had to start with a cheesy one-liner…it’s like…day one of spy training.  Shoot the captor, cheesy one-liner.”  

“Not that I’m not thankful for that…but it’s funny…” she continued as if there WEREN’T Bond-esque villains getting ever closer to breaking down that door and killing them, “how the tables have turned…one minute, you’re making fun of me for being captured…and the next, you basically capture yourself.”  

He sighed and shifted uncomfortably on the floor, the net digging into his face. He pressed outward with his hands, but all that did was stretch it tighter around his shoulders. “How the hell was I supposed to know that was the net arrow and not the zip line arrow? Do you THINK I planned this?”

She snorted, “You couldn’t have planned this any better if you tried.”  

“Knife, Lewis.  Let me rescue you, and you can tell everyone the story of how Barton almost fucked it up and you saved the day.  You can even post it on your Twitterbook thing.”  

“Twitterbook?” she scoffed, “You mean Twittervinestagram.”  

“Whatever…” he scowled, even though it was hard to look menacing when you were trapped in your own net that was tugging your eyebrows up high on your forehead.  

She tugged the knife out of his belt and started cutting the net off him.  “For future reference…a label maker could probably save lives in this situation…”

He ripped the rest of the net off and threw it to the side, shuffling through the arrows he had, trying to remember if zip line was red or orange.  It was definitely not yellow…

Her hands fluffed his hair, tugging it up gently and making his scalp tingle.  He raised an eyebrow.  

“Just fixing it.  You had net head,” she smirked.  

He grabbed the red arrow, deciding to just wing it.  

He sighed in relief when a zip line shot out the window and attached to the building across the street.

“You gotta hold onto me…” he said, glancing over at Darcy.  

“You ever done this with more than one person?  Will it hold me?”  

He scoffed, “Course it will. You barely weigh anything.”  

“Tell that to my bathroom scale.”

He centered his bow over the line, standing up in the window.  She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, piggy back style, and he jumped. She shrieked once, wrapping her legs around his waist as they shot towards the window opposite them.  It wasn’t open, so he kicked it when they hit, hoping to bear the brunt of the broken glass.  

They landed on top of a bed beside the window, somehow twisted around so he was on top of her.  

“Sorry…” he rolled over and stood, reaching for her hand and pulling her off the bed.  

“I got a car a few blocks away…just have to run…” he was about to grab her hand when her lips crashed into his and he took a few steps back, banging against a family portrait behind him on the wall.  He tried to care about the pain in his head, but all he could think about was her tongue in his mouth.  She pulled back and he blinked a few times.  

“What the fuck was that for?”  

“Thanks, Barton.”  

“Some thanks. Jesus.  What would you have done if I hadn’t fucked up?”  

“Oh, that’s not even half of it.  You’re getting the rest after you finish saving me.”  

“It’s my job, Lewis…don’t pity fuck me just because I saved you.”  

“BELIEVE me, it’s not pity. It’s dream realization.  And it wasn’t your job.  Not this time.”  

He was just going to ignore all that dream stuff, no way he was able to handle that right now. “What are you talking about?  It’s my job to save people.”  

“Not this time, not me. I know because it’s just you who came. Only you.  No sky cover from Tony. No Natasha having your back.  It’s just you.  They were gonna let me go, but you came after me.”  

He set his jaw, shaking his head.  “Don’t think so much, Darce.  They weren’t gonna just let you go…”

She cocked an eyebrow.

“They weren’t! Promise. You’re very important…I just…might’ve…run in here half-cocked because…I’m a doofus and I don’t follow orders.”  

She smiled then, throwing her arms around his neck again.  “Thank you…I don’t know what would have happened if you— “  

“Don’t think about that now, Girlie.” Because he knew if HE thought any more about what that big guy was doing all alone in the room with Darcy, well…let’s just say it wouldn’t be pretty.  “C’mon. Let’s run twelve blocks to my car, and then when we get back, maybe I can help you out with that dream stuff…” he grinned, holding out his hand.  She took it, lacing their fingers and squeezing.  

“It’s a date.”  


	20. 'Eleanor Rigby' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 27 January 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/138197577709/darcyclint-eleanor-rigby-please-and-thank).

Okay so his life officially sucked. 

Like, it had sucked before, sure.  But now officially, it SUCKED. 

Bobbi and he.  They’d been good.  Really good for a while.  As good as people who were previously married could be.  Better even, because of all the sex.  But she was in love with two guys.  One more than the other.  And he was the other.  So he’d done the right thing.  He’d stepped back.  Because Hunter wasn’t a bad guy.  Neither was Clint, and he wasn’t about to watch Bobbi AND Lance be miserable.  It was better it was just him.  He was used to it. 

That had been four months ago, obviously he was taking it very well since he was still thinking about it daily. 

And Kate.  Katie Kate.  She was a sweetheart.  She was worried about him.  And as such, was setting him up with a friend of hers tonight. 

It was the ultimate in suckage.  A blind date with a friend of a friend because apparently living in your boxers and watching reality TV wasn’t any way to live. 

She’d made him shave.  And get a haircut.  And shower.  And wear cologne.  And clean clothes. 

God, this was so much work. 

And he was meeting her at the cinema.  The cinema was the worst possible first date ever.  There was no way to talk.  Snacks were really expensive. 

And he had to try to find her.  She was going to be wearing a red sweater and a green hat.  Like one of Santa’s elves or something. 

When he got to the theater, she wasn’t there yet.  Of course, she was late. 

He was so engrossed in his grumbling he didn’t see her arrive. 

“Clint Barton?”

He turned, eyes glazing over when he looked at her.  No way was he this lucky.  “Darcy Lewis?” 

She smiled, revealing the most adorable gap-toothed smile he’d ever seen.  She waved.  “That’s me.” 

And he smiled too.  How could he not?  It felt weird on his face.  And that’s when he realized just how low he’d gotten over the past few months.  This was almost a rush. 

“You’re friends with Kate?”

She shrugged, “Yeah…uh…I’ve actually met you before.  Um…I work at Stark Tower.  In the labs, though.  Just kind of an assistant to Jane Foster…” 

“Oh, right.  Dr. Foster.  Thor’s…” 

“Yeah…” she shrugged.  “You also might have taken my iPod in New Mexico…” 

His eyebrows shot up, “That was you? Why don’t I remember you?” 

She shrugged again, “I dunno. I might be pretty forgettable in the face of an Asgardian God.” 

Her face was red.  She was embarrassed.  Hell, HE was the one who forgot her, HE should be embarrassed. 

“No…you’re not forgettable. I’m an asshole.” 

She smirked, “Lay it on thick, don’tcha?” 

“I call a spade a spade…” 

She inhaled and looked down at the pavement. They both looked over at the movie poster behind them as the silence grew more and more pronounced.

“If I said I didn’t want to see this movie…” she began.  “That I’d rather go somewhere we could talk…?” 

“Coffee shop on the corner?” he pointed behind him. 

She nodded and started walking.  He fell in step beside her. 

“Kate says you’re getting over a break up?” 

“It was…four months ago.  I’m over the break up.  I just…wasn’t ready to move on. I wanted to…stagnate.” 

“Oh.” 

“Just needed a push…” 

She reached over and shoved him to the side, grinning.  He smirked and tentatively reached over, hand extended.  She accepted it, lacing their fingers. 

“Sorry I forgot about you…” he said quietly. 

“I’m not sorry.  I got a second first impression.  And from the looks of things, I did better the second time around.” 

“Yeah, well…might have something to do with me not stealing your stuff.” 

“That reminds me…you owe me an iPod.” 


	21. 'Honey Don't' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 29 January 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/138320545034/how-about-honey-dont-clintdarcy)

Clint glanced over to where Darcy was lying.  Sunbathing.  Wearing that red bikini that was doing things to him.  Pants things. 

This wasn’t fair.  At least they were on Stark’s private beach and there wasn’t a random group of people to stare at Clint Barton’s Amazing Pants Tent Circus.

“Enjoying the view, Barton?” she glanced sideways at him, bouncing her foot where it was crossed over her other ankle. 

He scoffed, trying to sound convincing with his “NO…” 

Not convincing at all, he sounded too adamant.  Like he was hiding something. 

Well.  He was and he wasn’t. 

He’d asked her out.  Many times.  Couldn’t really see why she wouldn’t say yes.  Even though they were out right now, she’d made it clear it was just a friend date. 

But then she’d do something like…grab his hand for no reason, or like…that time they made out on the couch in the common area.  She was one big mixed signal.  And not that he didn’t like the occasional make out session, he was kind of…wanting something a little more than casual. 

Of course, if casual was what she wanted, then…that’s what they’d have. 

But if they could just try for more…that’d be…fucking cool. 

“Whatever…just wipe up your drool when you’re done…” she winked and went back to sunbathing.

“Darce…level with me…” 

She arched an eyebrow quizzically in response. 

“Why won’t you date me?  I just wanna take you somewhere and buy you things.  Nice things.  Let me take you out and spend money on you…” 

“Because you don’t have any money,” she quipped. 

“Darcy…” 

She shrugged, “You don’t.” 

“Do you like me or don’t you? Really like me? If you say no, I’ll leave you alone about it.  We’ll just be friends.” 

“If I LIKE YOU, like you?” 

He nodded. 

“I think that should be obvious, given the amount of times we’ve made out.” 

“Well…it’s not.” 

Her lips abruptly pressed against his.  A moan escaped his mouth when she gripped the back of his head.  She smelled like suntan lotion and coconuts over that scent that was unmistakably her.  Her lips pulled at his for a few minutes, and he wasn’t really keen on stopping when she did, pulling back to look at him.  He was sure he looked flushed, out of breath…turned on. 

“You still didn’t answer my question…” he ventured, wiping his mouth just in time to get a mouthful of Darcy Lewis again.  She pushed him back on his towel, his head clipping the cooler they’d brought along, but he didn’t even care because she was pressed against his bare chest, her skin was slippery with sweat and tanning lotion.   Her lips were parted and her tongue was swiping into his mouth. 

She stopped abruptly.  “Clint…I like the FUCK out of you…just to put it bluntly.”

“Oh thank god…”

“And I REALLY hope nobody has eyes on us right now…” she glanced around before smirking at him.  “I know it’s a private beach, but it IS Tony’s…and…”    

“Why?” he asked, looking around, “Did you see something or—“he turned back to face her as her bikini top hit him in the face, “Aw…Honey…that’s…you’re...Darce…you’re the best.”

“Aww…get over here, Hawkeye…”    


	22. 'Cooking Class' for itsjanetsnakehole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 12 February 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/139183553339/the-one-about-non-refundable-tickets-to-a-couples).

“Alright…quick question…” Clint said, his hand on Darcy’s arm.  “Do you think we’ll learn how to make chocolate chip cookies?  I will lose my freakin’ mind if we learn how to make chocolate chip cookies.” 

She laughed, “Well…it’s Valentine’s Day, so I’m pretty sure we’ll be learning themed recipes.” 

“There’s chocolate in ‘em,” he protested.  “I’m sure there’s a way to make ‘em heart shaped.” 

“I think it’s Chocolate Lava Cake…” Darcy said, gesturing towards the chalk board at the front of the room.

“Aww…” 

“Clint, I’LL teach you how to make chocolate chip cookies, okay?  As a thank you for going to this thing with me?” 

He grinned, “That’s sweet, Darce.  But it’s not a big deal…seriously…it’s not.” 

She returned his smile.  She hadn’t smiled this much in a few weeks, if she was being completely honest. It wasn’t like Ian was “The One” or anything, but it still fucking hurt that he left.  It still blindsided her.  You don’t have to be completely invested in where you’re walking to be confused when the rug gets pulled out from under you.  

The call from ‘Create-A-Cook’ had surprised her too, reminding her of her non-refundable reservation in their Valentine’s Date Night cooking class and unknowingly twisting the knife a little farther. She could either go alone like a schmuck or eat the three-hundred-dollar fee.   

She was just going to let them charge her checking account and chalk it up to a loss, but Clint was there when she got the call…and before she knew it, the archer was straight up cancelling his Valentine’s plans to come learn how to braise lamb chops and make risotto.

Of course, his Valentine’s plans were with his dog, Lucky…and a pepperoni pizza…and Dog Cops on DVR…

But it was the thought that counted. 

And now they were here, sitting at their little cooking station, and he was looking around, up at the tall ceiling and wondering aloud if their teacher was going to be as mean as Chef Ramsay. 

“I don’t know, Clint.  I hope not.” 

“I’ll kick him in the shins and you can hit him with the frying pan…” he said absently.  “Hey…what IS risotto?  I thought that was the cheese you put in lasagna.” 

“That’s ricotta…” she laughed. 

“Is that not what I said?” he wobbled on the stool. 

* * *

 

“Okay, so…I’m pretty sure what just happened…was they charged you like…three hundred bucks so we could cook our own dinner…pretty lucrative little set up they have here…” he said between bites of risotto. 

“Well…they taught at least one of us how to make it, so…” 

“So…you can make it for your future…boyfriends and stuff.” 

“Yeah, I guess.  Or…I can just be a pig and make it for me…that chocolate lava cake alone is worth a sad night on the couch.” 

“Hey.  No night is a sad night if you invite me and Lucky over.  None of that cake for him, though.” 

She snorted, “I’ll pick up some of those gourmet dog biscuits he likes so much.” 

“Cool.  So yeah. You should totally pick those up and let me know what night you wanna eat sad chocolate cake on the couch.  I’m there, Sweet Cheeks.” 

She bit her lip to hold back a grin.  “You’re there?  Is this happening now?” 

“What?  Yeah. It’s happening.  It’s a date, Toots.” 

“Toots?  You can’t pull that off.” 

“No, I really can’t…” he took another bite of his lamb chop and chewed thoughtfully.  “Not sure what to call you, Darce.” 

She shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Do you have to call me anything?”

“’Course I do. You’re cooking dinner for me.  And letting my adorable mutt come visit.” 

“True story…” she took a sip of water before continuing.  “I think ‘your excellence’ should do nicely.” 

“Your excellence…” he shrugged, “Has a nice ring to it.” 

“Well…on the inverse, what should I call you?  Since I’m cooking for you and letting you and your adorable mutt veg on my couch?” 

He smirked, “Geez…I dunno…future boyfriend, I guess…”


	23. 'Livin' La Vida Loca' for sarbear1610

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 28 September 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/151080406519/livin-la-vida-loca-clintdarcy).

Clint woke up to her lips pressed against his jaw.  Teeth nipping at his skin.  

"Darcy?"  he mumbled, sitting up slightly in bed.  The sticky air hung thick around them.  "Where are we?" 

She giggled, pressing her lips to his hurriedly before she rolled to the side, whipping the sheet off the bed in the process. She wrapped it around her body and stood up.  

Clint groaned and groped around for another blanket or really anything to cover his naked body. 

"You don't remember, Babe?" she asked.  "We decided to take a trip yesterday..." 

“Was I drunk?” 

“Nope.  Not drugged either.  Just really, REALLY tired.  Please don’t be too mad.  You needed it.” 

As his eyes adjusted to the amount of light in the room, he began to remember things.  They were in the Bahamas.  Or Greece.  He couldn't really tell by his surroundings.  Wherever they were, it wasn't a touristy locale, judging by the interior of the cabana.  Cabin.  Bungalow.  He could hear the ocean.  Smell the fresh air.  How disgusting. 

Coffee.  Coffee would be good. He could also smell coffee.  Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.  He hoped it wasn't.  He didn't think his head could take the roar of the coffee grinder just yet.  

He heard the shower turn on, saw the sheet billowing out from the bathroom doorway as she tossed it to get in. 

Clint swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, staggering to the kitchen towards the coffee smell that was wafting out.

He had to agree.  A vacation was kind of nice.  And she’d taken all the planning out of his hands too.  That was the worst part.  And she’d loaded him onto a plane while he was asleep, so he hadn’t even had to deal with any of that either. 

But he still didn’t know where they were. 

"No for real, Darce..." He called, pouring himself a cup.  "Where are we?" 

"You get twenty kisses for guessing correctly," was the only response he got. 

He groaned and took a sip of his coffee.  "I dunno, honey.  Hawaii?"  Clint glanced out the window at the ocean.  Yes.  The ocean was just outside.  How much was this little getaway costing him?  He swore Darcy Lewis was going to bankrupt him one of these days.  No matter what anyone said, being an Avenger wasn't exactly a high-paying job. 

"Nope.  Guess again!" 

He took another big gulp of coffee.  "Greece?" 

"Not even close." 

"Bahamas." 

"You're not even trying now."

"Darcy..."  

The shower cut off.  And she stepped out, reaching for a towel to dry herself.  "Clint." 

"Tell me where we are, so I can know if I have a retirement fund or not." 

She giggled and began toweling off her hair.  And she was naked.  So...like...he wasn't really paying attention to much else.  When Darcy was naked, you just paid attention to every square inch of bare skin and committed it to memory.  That's what you did. 

She dropped the towel in the hamper and sauntered out to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottled water from the door.  "I'm going swimming.  Care to join me?" 

He raised his eyebrows.  "Naked swimming?  In the ocean?  Won't the sharks like...I dunno?  Bite you?" 

She snorted.  "You're right. That string bikini will keep me safe from sharks. And if it's the money you're worried about, this is one of Tony's properties, so unclench and enjoy your vacation, Clint." 

He drained the rest of his coffee as she grabbed a towel and sunglasses, opening up the door to the bungalow.   _Bungalow?  Cabana?  Beach house?_   "Skinny dipping or not, you're still not off the hook for tricking me into a mystery vacation, Lewis."


	24. 'Ain't no Man' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon on tumblr prompted: "Ain't no man, avett brothers, taserhawk, maybe in your "I'm game"-verse?"
> 
> Link to the song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21ystqlD_Rk)
> 
> Link to [I'm Game](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5247272/chapters/12106331)
> 
> Originally posted on 2 May 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/143750755464/aint-no-man-avett-brothers-taserhawk-maybe-in).

"Darce...can I get another coke?" Clint pushed the round tray down the bar to her. 

"Just a coke?" 

"For Tony..." 

"Right...that...that I won't screw up, I promise..." 

"You're not screwing up, Babe...just...need the coke..." he tapped his fingers on the edge of the bar, biting his lip and bouncing impatiently. She wasn't really screwing up.  She'd only gotten two drink orders wrong, but she was hard on herself.  And a teensy bit slow.  But she was getting there.  It wasn't like he was losing any business or anything.  If anything, she was bringing more in.  Something about a busty babe behind the bar that seemed bring throngs of thirsty dudes through the doors. 

He wasn't the jealous type.  But.  If one more of them checked out his girlfriend's rack when she shook the cocktail mixer, he was going to clock every single bro who sauntered into his bar. 

She'd kill him though.  She handled herself pretty well. 

"Sorry, Fabio. Currently riding his hobby horse...not looking to switch it up, I'm VERY satisfied..." she'd smirked, knocking the last dude down a few pegs AND stroking Clint's ego in one very well planned sentence. 

She handed Clint the Coke with a napkin and a tiny smile. 

She looked cute in her drenched purple t-shirt.  Drenched because of the blender malfunction right after her dinner break. She smelled good, though.  Like Pina Coladas.  He'd have fun peeling the sticky cotton off her later tonight, anyway. 

"You're doing great, Darce..." he leaned over to peck her cheek before he turned to take the coke over to Tony and Bruce's table. 

There was a swell of noise.  Cat calls and whistles.   He shook his head and slid the drink over to Tony, walking back up to the bar to help Darcy wipe it down. 

She'd pretty much blown his mind when she told him she wanted to learn how to tend bar. So she could help him out. Spend more time with him.  She'd even looked up tuition rates for the bartending college, promising she wouldn't call herself a mixologist. 

And he'd be the first to admit that she was a natural. 

"God, they'll whistle for anything, won't they?" she quipped, tossing him a rag and reaching around to grab his ass.  She kissed him full on the mouth, grinning widely when the catcalling started again.  "See?  Same response.  Kiss on the cheek and an ass grab ain't the same thing..." 

"Can we get that embroidered on a pillow?"   


	25. 'Stuck in the Middle with You' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 16 March 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/141170524749/stuck-in-the-middle-with-you-stealers). 
> 
> Anon on tumblr prompted: "Stuck in the Middle With You-Stealers Wheel-Darcy/Clint"
> 
> I had to think about this one. Because, this whole song reminds me of something a drunk person would ramble. But then…yeah…then this fluffy angst happened. :) Enjoy!
> 
> Link to the song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q)

“I love you, Darcy…” Clint slurred, rubbing the top of her head. Ruining her bangs.    

“Aww, that’s sweet, Barton…” She smiled, pushing her hair back out of her face.  “It’d be sweeter if you weren’t three sheets to the wind…c’mon, buddy.  Let’s go home.” 

“No, I mean it…I dove you, Larcy…I mean…LOVE you Darcy…” then he was laughing and it was next to impossible to coax him up from his spot on the floor where she’d found him. 

“If you loved me, you’d help me out a little here…all that muscle weighs a lot when it’s dead weight.” 

“I’d do anything for you, Darce.  Darcy Darcy Darce…wow, your name is great.  Have you ever said your name?” 

“A few times…” she sighed in frustration.  She should have gotten Natasha to come with her.  Or Steve.  Or Bucky.  Or SOMEONE WITH UPPER BODY STRENGTH.  Seriously...she lived in a tower full of super heroes and didn’t think to ask one along. 

She hooked his arm over her shoulder and lifted with her legs.  He finally scrambled to his feet and she started steering him out the door. 

The bartender waved a ‘thank you’ at her as she maneuvered Clint outside onto the sidewalk.  Now, she just had to hail a cab. 

“What gives, anyway?  Why’d you get so schnockered?  And why’d you give them my number?” 

“You’re the only one I could think of—“ he hiccupped and bent at the waist, puking up what sounded like a gallon of alcoholic vomit all over the sidewalk. 

She rubbed his back, quickly moving him back so they weren’t standing in the puddle when a cab finally showed up.  “There you go…better out than in…” 

“You’re the only one I could think of who wouldn’t judge me…” he gasped before retching again. 

Darcy rubbed the back of his neck.   “I wouldn’t.  You’re right.” 

“Thanks Darce…”

“Hey…is it okay if I give Tony a call?  Not looking good for cabs.  Not with you puking like this.  I’ll just tell Tony to put a tarp down in the Lambo, okay?” 

He nodded, letting her walk him over to the curb, holding his head in his hands while she made the call.  Came over to sit down beside him, their legs touching. 

“Mean it, though.  I love you.” He repeated.  Every time he said it, she felt a little more sad.  Because it wasn’t true.  He was drunk.  

“No you don’t.” 

“How d’you know? I could love you.” 

She arched an eyebrow.  “Like I said before, Partner.  Tell me again when you’re sober.” 

 “Kay.  I will.” 

She rolled her eyes, knowing she should drop the subject.  But she always was a glutton for punishment.  “Why do you think you love me, Barton?” 

“Cuz.  You’re crazy beautiful.” 

She laughed, stretching out her legs in front of her, “Which is it?” 

“Huh?” 

“Crazy or beautiful?” 

“Naw, I didn’t mean it like that…shit, I can’t grammar when I’m drunk…” 

She leaned over and nudged his shoulder with hers.  “Crazy beautiful, huh?  Wow.” 

He grinned crookedly before wrapping his arms around her waist and snuggling his head into her lap. She reached down to absently stroke his hair and wait for Tony to get here. 

“Imma make ya believe me, Lewis.” 

“Okay, Clint.  You do that, Babe.” 

“Challenge accepted.” 


	26. 'Why Do You Only Call Me When You're High?' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 21 April 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/143194297174/why-do-you-call-me-when-youre-high-arctic). 
> 
> Anon on tumblr prompted: "Why do you call me when you're high? Arctic monkeys. Darcy/clint"
> 
> Link to the song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6366dxFf-Os)
> 
> Continuation of the previous chapter.

Darcy shouldn’t have answered the phone.  

Because her mom was right. Nothing good happened between the hours of eleven PM and five AM.  

But he’d called her three times.  She couldn’t just let it keep ringing.  

Clint was her buddy.  

Never mind that she was harboring a terrible crush on the archer which was the actual reason she was even awake when he called, telling her he couldn’t sleep.  

At least he wasn’t drunk this time.  

“You got anything to eat?” he asked, rummaging through her cabinets.  

She sniffed and shrugged. “Whatever’s there…what’s mine is yours.”  

His head came back out of the cabinet.  "Ha. You don’t know what you’re promising there, Girlie.“  

“No…I know…” she sighed.  

“I swear, I never get the munchies like this…” he assured her as he went after her box of Rice Krispies with a spoon.  "Swear to Thor Almighty.“  

She shrugged again. "Doesn’t bother me any.”

“Did you want to go lay down?” he asked, gesturing to the bedroom.  "It’s late,“ he added at the end.  Like he’d just realized that he was imposing upon her at three a.m.  

She felt her shoulders literally slump.  "Yeah. Guess I should.”  

“Mmkay…” he tossed the spoon in the sink and closed the cereal.  "Can I have an apple?“  

"Yeah, go for it,” she waved her hand noncommittally in his direction as she slumped back to the bedroom.

“I’ll finish it out here.  I won’t bring food in your bedroom, Darce.”  

She raised her eyebrows. “What?”  

“I figured you wouldn’t want food in your bed.”  

“You’re coming to bed?”  

“Yeah.  I told you I was having trouble sleeping.”

“Right…” she turned and continued with her slumping.  

She pulled down the comforter and slipped in between the sheets.  

He joined her momentarily. “I only snore a little bit,” he assured her.  "I usually keep it down to a dull roar.“  

She snorted, "Thanks for that…”  

He got into her bed, laying back on the pillows.  He opened his arms.  "Snuggles?“  

"Clint…this…probably isn’t a good idea…”  

“Why not? Darcy.  You’re always breaking my heart.”  

She closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts.  "Clint…“  

"What?  You are.  I love you, Darcy.”  

Shaking her head, she bit her lip to try to keep from saying it back.  It only partly worked.  "You don’t really.“  

"Sure I do.”

“No.  I mean, it’s not…the way I want you to.”  

“What way do you want me to love you?”  

“I’m not–”

“Tell me, or you’ll never know if it’s the way you want.”  

She glared over at him. “I love you too. Romantically.  Like…I’m so far gone for you.  And you only ‘love’ me when you’re drunk.  Or when you’re high.”  

“I don’t just tell you when I’m high.  Or drunk.”  

“That’s what you took from that? Know what, Barton?” She really was going to let him have this time.

Until…

He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, his hand cupping her cheek as his lips pulled at hers. She reached up to clasp that hand. Hard.  As she pushed away from him.  "You are not thinking straight.“

"Darcy…I’ve never been straighter…” He stopped talking, and then started giggling.  

She rolled her eyes. “Tell me in the morning, Barton.”  

“I will, just you wait.”  

“I will be waiting. Waiting for nothing.  Like always…” she flopped over on her side and hugged a pillow close to her body, turning herself into a little ball of anger.  

“I will surprise you one of these days, Lewis.”  

She harrumphed, closing her eyes.  

* * *

When she opened them again, it was to the sun streaming in through her window.  And an empty bed.  

She shook her head and blinked back the tears she said she’d never cry for him again.  

She was late for work.

Darcy rolled out of bed, going through the motions of getting ready because it kept her mind busy. She scratched her head and went out to the kitchen to start coffee.  

And she very nearly pissed herself when Clint hopped down off the counter beside the coffee maker, holding out a cup of fresh coffee.  Complete with cream and sugar.  He was dressed.  So he’d gone home.  His hair was damp.  His eyes were clear.  

“What are you–?”

“I love you, Darcy,” he answered simply, stuffing his hands into his pockets.


	27. 'Today Was a Fairytale' for ozhawk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ozhawk prompted: "So, cheesy as fuck but I am really in the (somewhat drunk) mood for cheesy, so can I please ask for Darcy/Clint, Today Was A Fairytale by Taylor Swift?"
> 
> Farm hand/Farmer’s Daughter AU. Set around the time Oklahoma! took place? (1906) My first stab at a period fic.
> 
> I had a little inspiration:  
> 
> 
> Link to the song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwXyQbYdjsY)
> 
> Originally posted on 6 April 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/142384985914/so-cheesy-as-fuck-but-i-am-really-in-the).

His hands were rough, but his touch was gentle.  The way his fingers stroked her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her.  It was quick.  Over too quickly for her tastes anyway.  Barely a brush of his lips or time to process the scratch of his stubble. 

“I gotta get back to work, Sweetheart.  If your Pa catches us, he’ll kill me.” 

“Just talk to him, Clint. Go ask his permission to court me. We won’t have to sneak around anymore…” 

“I can’t.  Not till I can afford to build ya a house.” 

Darcy pouted and he relented.  He always relented.  He pulled her close, his arm around her waist, as he tilted his hat back and kissed her again.  Really kissed her this time.  Lips moving and pulling expertly over hers, like he’d been doing this all his life.  She clung to his shirt, her stomach fluttered and she felt like she couldn’t get close enough to him.  She wanted to jump inside his clothes with him.  Inside his skin.  She parted her lips and let out a small gasp when she felt his tongue gently sweep into her mouth. 

He ended the kiss abruptly, pulling back and adjusting his hat.  “Girl, you could convince a preacher to sin…” 

“It wouldn’t be a sin if we were married.” 

“Yeah?  And if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass when he hopped.” 

She shot him a look.  “You wanna shoot yer mouth off?  Go talk to my Pa.” 

“Darcy, where would we live?  Here?  We’d be just as bad off.  Even if your Pa said yes, and we were married, we wouldn’t be able to do nothin’ about it.”  He shifted uncomfortably. 

“You too good for the barn?” she crossed her arms. 

“I don’t wanna…” he lowered his voice, “make love to my WIFE in a barn, Darcy Lewis. You deserve better than that.” 

“I deserve better than THIS, Clint Barton….” If he could use her full name, she could damn well use his.  “Better than sneakin’ around.” 

“It would STILL be sneakin’ around. What yer sayin’ is…you wanna sneak off to the barn instead of having our own house?” 

“I’d sneak off to the barn with you NOW.”

His eyes flashed and he pressed his lips together.  “Fine.  Fine.  I’ll go talk to your Pa.  I’ll talk to him tonight.  And I don’t wanna hear your cryin’ when he says no.” 

“He won’t.  He loves you like a son.” 

“We’ll see. People’ll say a lotta nice things until you wanna marry their daughter.” 

“Clint…” she stepped closer, reaching for him. 

“Uh-uh…you gotta keep yourself away from me for right now.  I get all kinds of stupid when I have you in my head.” 

She grinned, “I make you stupid?  But I only met ya last year!” 

“That mouth.  Is why I love you.” 

“I love you too…”

He turned, looking around.  “Alright, but just a quick one.” 

He’d no sooner pressed his lips to hers than a gruff ‘Hrmph…” sounded right behind them.  Darcy’s heart leapt up in her throat and she spun around to face her father, who was looking rather harshly at the two of them. 

His arms were crossed over his chest and he nodded in Darcy’s direction.  “Go on, girlie.” 

“Pa…please don’t—‘ 

“Go on, I said.” 

Darcy gulped and turned to leave, reaching out to squeeze Clint’s hand before she left.  She kept looking back, hoping to catch her father’s attention before he laid into Clint. 

She did catch it again. 

And the knot taking up residence in her stomach relaxed when Pa winked at her, his eyes twinkling with mirth.  She sighed in relief and took off towards the house, her heart in her throat and light as a feather. 


	28. 'All Mixed Up' for justduck82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 5 July 2016 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/146954583429/i-hope-this-gets-in-in-time-born-in-1982-but-90s).
> 
> Link to the song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjTjtJDZomw), "All Mixed Up", 311, 1995.

Clint’s eyes cracked open, taking a quick look around the room to assess his surroundings.

There was a weight on his chest.  Something soft tickling his nose.  An overwhelmingly familiar scent surrounding him. Citrusy-vanilla.

Suddenly it all came rushing back.  The events of the previous night.

Darcy’s delightful goading, the sound of her laugh, the feel of her hand in his as she dragged him out in the middle of the club.  The way she gyrated and ground herself against him.    Like they were already fucking.  Clothes be damned.

The overwhelmingly familiar scent of her hair. Citrusy-vanilla.

No, this wasn’t supposed to happen.  She wasn’t supposed to come home with him.  He wasn’t the type who got to be with a girl like Darcy.

He wasn’t cool enough.  She’d tease him about being a prematurely-old man.  Yelling at kids to get off his lawn when he didn’t even have a lawn.  Getting upset when his DVR didn’t record Dog Cops.  The sheer number of times he’d dropped and broken his smart phone.  That alone should exclude him from the group of people in the Venn Diagram that intersected with Darcy.

She made this cute little humming sound and wrapped herself around him in a way that drew attention to parts of her that had previously been a mystery to him.  And yet, somehow…those mysterious parts were now dancing through his mind.  He could describe each one vividly.  How it looked.  How it tasted…

He shifted a little.  Suddenly a little more than uncomfortable in his own not-so-mystery parts.

Mystery parts that had apparently intersected PLENTY with Darcy’s the night before.

Was intersected REALLY the right word here? It should be more like …”mesh” or something.

She turned her head, pressing her lips to his jaw.  “Morning, Sunshine…” she murmured against his skin.

He felt a blush rising in his cheeks.  A goofy grin spreading that he wished against wish wasn’t his reaction to Darcy Lewis kissing his cheek the morning after.

There was a shift on the mattress as she pushed up on her elbow, leaning over to kiss his lips.

“Whoa…wait…hold on there…unless you wanna get blown away by my dragon breath…you know…you should probably wait til I brush or somethin’…” He covered his mouth, shaking his head.  

Darcy arched an eyebrow.  “Fine.  I’ll wait…”  She grabbed the sheet, pulling it over her head as she started to kiss her way down his chest.

“No wait…Darce…I didn’t mean…”He bit his bottom lip hard to keep from crying out as she reached her intended destination.  She settled her self between his legs and took him first in her hand…then in her mouth.  “Darce…you don’t have to…oh futz it…” He’d just have to return the favor.  He might be an uncool-prematurely-old man, but he was pretty sure that was still a thing.


	29. 'Coffee Shop AU' for aspiring-trashfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 13 August 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/164159626819/almost).

Darcy shrugged, and signed back to him,  "You always stood out.  Can’t put my finger on why…"  She mimed thinking by tapping her forehead.

Clint laughed.  "Maybe it was my rugged good looks?“  

"That’s gotta be it,” she replied.  "I could never forget a face  _that_ handsome.“

He blushed and looked down at his coffee cup for a moment.  But he was so glad he looked back up, or he would have missed what she said next:  "I’m totally not kidding.  I’m so glad you came back in because I never worked up the courage to ask you out before.”

He smiled, signing back to her, “Have you worked it up yet?”  

“Almost,” was her snarky reply.       


	30. 'Best Angle' for sarbear1610

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 23 August 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/164527789235/best-angle).

He heard the photo snap and turned to look at her.  Darcy froze for a moment before speaking.  “Hi.”  

“Hi… did you just…take a picture of me?”  he asked.  

“Yeahhhhh.  I was just telling my friend that there was this hot guy on the train and she wanted proof…”  

He raised his eyebrows.”I’m the hot guy?”  

She grinned.  “Yeah?”  

“Lemme see the picture.”  He held out his hand and she handed him her phone.  He looked and shook his head.  “Nah, that’s no good.  Lemme take one for you.  I know my best angle.”  He scooted down in the seat and held the phone up over his head.  He threw up a peace sign and snapped the picture, handing it back to her.  “There.”

“Thanks,” Darcy said, still grinning.  “I’m Darcy, by the way.”  

“Clint.  Or you can just keep calling me ‘Hot Guy’, that works too.”  

“Hot Guy Clint?”  

“Perfect.”      


	31. 'Runaway Bride' for Anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 21 August 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/164470714499/runaway-bride).

Clint groaned.  He’d fulfilled his duty in delivering the wedding cake.  It was beautiful.  The perfect colors and the flavor was exactly right.  Tahitian vanilla.  

Now he just had to sit through Darcy’s wedding to the wrong guy and suppress the urge to jump up and ruin the ceremony.  

His resolve lasted exactly twenty seconds, because Darcy floated in wearing a bathrobe with her hair in rollers and he couldn’t keep quiet.  She was gorgeous.  

“Don’t marry him,”  he blurted.  

She was inspecting the cake and when she heard him, she froze, coming up from behind the vanilla tower of frosting to look him dead in the eye.  "Why?“ she asked.  

He wasn’t expecting that.  He was expecting her to tell him to leave.  

"Because I love you.  I always have.  I can make you happy.  He’s an asshole… I kept my mouth shut because I thought… I thought I could do this.  And I can… I  _can_  still do this if you need me to.  But I have to tell you that I love you, because if there’s any chance you’re settling for this bozo because you think there’s nothing better… well…”  He gulped.  "I’m not a lot better, but at least I’d make you happy. I don’t deserve you, but neither does he.“    

Darcy’s eyes welled up with tears.  "I… I don’t want to marry him, Clint.”  

His breath rasped out.  A weight lifted from his shoulders.  Even if she never wanted to speak to him again, at least he’d helped her with this.  

“I don’t want to get married right now.  To anyone.  But especially not to him…” She backed away from the table.  "Can we… go somewhere?  To talk about us?“  

He almost choked, but he nodded.  "Absolutely.”  

“Good.  Because it’s about to be a shitstorm when they realize I ran… and if this is going to happen, I need to make sure that we’re on even footing.”  

He nodded again, because he was lightheaded.  He wasn’t sure how he was going to talk.  About  _them_.  About a possibility of  _them_.  

But he also knew that she needed him right now.  And he could absolutely be here.  In whatever capacity she asked for. 


	32. 'Property of Darcy Lewis' for sarbear1610

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 21 August 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/164470670254/property-of-darcy-lewis).

“ _I don’t know you, but you were at that party last night, and long story short, I now have your name tattooed on my ass…”_

Darcy groaned and reached down to rub at her own ass.  Her left ass cheek was SMARTING this morning, now that this dude mentioned it.  

“Are you kidding me?” she asked.  

“Are you Darcy Lewis?” he countered.  "Because if so, I apparently am your property.  Or at least my ass is.“  

She glanced down where he was pointing.  His ass was still covered by jeans, but it still looked very nice. Darcy arched her eyebrows.  "It’s a very nice ass.”  

“Thanks.”

“I could just look at my own rear end, but I’m tired, so…what’s your name again?”

“Clint.  Barton.”  

“Hiya Clint.  Our first date was tattoos, how about our second date is tattoo removal?”

“I think that takes several sessions, but if you’re cool with that kind of commitment, so am I,” he replied with a smirk.   


	33. 'Fairs' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 10 September 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/165199207592/ferris-wheel).

“Ferris Wheel?” Darcy asked.  "Tell me the Ferris Wheel’s safe.“  

Clint snorted.  "It’s a huge wheel, hundreds of feet tall, and they put it together in a couple of hours.  What do you think?”  

“Come  _on_ … there’s got to be something we can do here… we’re undercover as a couple.  It’s going to look weird if we don’t do anything couply at the fair.”  She was aware of the whiney tone her voice had taken on, thank you very much.  She just didn’t really care at this point.  

“What were we gonna do on the Ferris Wheel?” Clint asked, his tone taking on a teasing quality that Darcy wasn’t sure if she liked yet.  

She shrugged. “I dunno.  Hold hands.  Something.”  

“We’re holdin’ hands now…” he said, squeezing her hand as if she’d forgotten or something.  

“Then I guess it doesn’t matter,” she said flippantly.  

“C'mon, Darcy…” he coaxed.  "Play along…"  

Okay.  Yeah.  She’d decided.  She really like that teasing quality in his voice.  

She stopped walking, tugging his arm so he moved closer.  "Make out a little?  Play a little… tonsil hockey?“  

Clint smirked and leaned closer, his free hand coming up to cup her cheek as his lips met hers.  "We can do that down here, you know…”   


	34. 'Hoodies' for queenspuppet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 10 September 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/165200705011/hoodie-theft).

“Noink!”  Darcy yelped as she grabbed Clint’s hoodie off the back of the chair he’d draped it over.  "It’s mine now, Hawkeye!“  

"Aww, Darcy… no…” Clint grabbed ineffectively at the purple sweatshirt as Darcy pulled it over her head.  It left her hair all staticky as she tugged it down over her torso, grinning madly as she left the kitchen, feeling nothing but triumphant, no doubt.  

“You certainly didn’t try very hard to get that back,” Natasha drawled from her perch on the kitchen counter.  She was sipping a glass of orange juice.  The picture of nonchalance.  

Clint shrugged and shook his head.  

“Asking her out might be a better choice.  You’d lose fewer clothes that way…”  his friend said with a wink.  "At least.  You’d lose fewer clothes to theft.“  

"Don’t tell me how to live my life and I won’t tell you how to live yours,” he countered.  

Nat laughed dryly.  "I’d like to see you try to tell me how to live mine.“  

"That orange juice is about a week past its expiration date. But I guess you like it with a little kick, huh, Nat?”  He winked and tried not to laugh at her as she dumped her juice down the sink. 


	35. 'Knitting' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 11 September 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/165231139088/confidentiality).

Clint flopped down so hard on the dilapidated safe house sofa that Darcy was convinced they were going to end up in a pile of dust and springs on the floor.  

It held up,  miraculously.  But she still lost count of her stitches and had to pull some out.

“Whatcha making?” he asked.  "A blanket?“

"Baby blanket, ” she specified.  His eyebrows went up and she knew exactly what he was going to say,  so she decided to get ahead of the game.  "For a friend. You’re off the hook, partner.“

"Jane’s expecting?”

She didn’t know why she hadn’t expected him to guess the friend.  Ever since she started wiring for shield, her other friendships had fallen by the wayside, so Jane was likely the only person she ever hung around with anymore.

But for the guy she was screwing to take notice?  Well.

“Yeah, but that intel stays between you and me.  Fuck-buddy to fuck-buddy confidentiality.”

“Okay,  but I’m pretty sure the boyfriend/girlfriend confidentiality agreement is more concise.”

She let the work fall into her lap as she searched his face to see if he was indeed serious.  "For real,  Hawkeye?“

He nodded once.  "For real,  Lewis.”


	36. 'Thank goodness you're here!' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 13 December 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/168522108564/i-dont-know-who-this-puppy-belongs-to-but-he).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know who this puppy belongs to, but he won’t leave!

“Awww, but he’s cute…”  Clint said, kneeling down in the doorway to scratch the puppy’s chin.  

“NO, he’s not cute.  If he’s cute, I’m gonna want him to  _stay_!”  Darcy whined.  

“That wouldn’t be the worst thing, would it?  Lucky would love a little brother…" 

"Clint, Lucky already takes up our entire bed.  Imagine how much of the bed will be left once this little dude grows up?”

He looked up at her and shrugged.  "Guess we could get a bigger bed.“  

"Oh…” she trailed off, nodding.  "Yeah, that’d work.“  

"So can he stay?”  Clint asked, pulling the adorable pile of fluff and paws up into his arms.  "Pwease, Darcy?“  

"If he ends up being no one’s lost companion, then yes.  For the love of Thor, get him inside, he looks too sad out there!”  

 


	37. 'Bed sharing' for sarastark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on 13 December 2017 on [tumblr](http://dresupi.tumblr.com/post/168522200044/sure-you-can-sleep-in-my-bed-but-no-one-can-know).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sure, you can sleep in my bed, but no one can know you’re here.

Clint smirked.  “I won’t make a peep, I promise.”  

She shot him a look.  “Okay, moaner.  I’ll remember that when I’m rocking your world.”  

He winked and ducked down under the sheets.  “No one will know I’m here.  They’ll just think you got a new toy or something…”  

 


	38. 'Crocheting' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun Prompts

“Is that what I think it is?” Clint asked, squinting down at the teeny-tiny baby hat in Darcy’s hand. “Because if that’s what I think it is, I have  _so_  many questions.”  

“Yes. This is a boobie hat,” Darcy replied, holding up the flesh-toned baby beanie with a very prominent pink nipple on the top.. “It’s for my sister’s baby, because she’s breastfeeding, but she’s also a kick-ass feminist and likes to make the MRA’s uncomfortable. See, she’ll put the boobie hat on her baby while he’s nursing, and like… no one will see her boob, but they’ll see his head and like…” she trailed off.  "You kinda have to be there for it to be funny, I guess?“  

Clint smirked. "Nah, it’s funny, I get it.”

Darcy shrugged. “I saw one on a kid in the park last week and I was like. Yes. My sister’s spawn needs one of those.”  

“Next question…” Clint said, reaching out to flick the nipple of the boobie hat. “Do you think you could make one in a bigger size?  Because I need to come up with a gift for Coulson for his birthday and–” 

“Say no more. How big of a boob do you need?”  

“You want like a cup size or…” 

 


	39. 'Dragons' for bylillian

“Uh… Clint?” Darcy muttered, standing stock still as the giant hulking beast sniffed them before snorting, ruffling her hair and forcing both of them to take a step back.  "Is that a dragon?“

"Don’t be silly, dragons aren’t real…” Clint replied.  "That’s obviously a T-Rex, come back from extinction.“  

They both watched as the dragon literally plucked a squirrel from a tree and breathed a jet of flames.  It then tossed the roasted squirrel into its mouth and swallowed.  

"Or it’s an actual facts fire-breathing dragon,” he continued.  

It belched, tossing its really gross cookies into a pile in front of them.  

And then, it roared, glancing down at the gnarled up squirrel and back at them.  

“An actual facts fire-breathing dragon who just adopted us…” Darcy said, glancing over at Clint and gulping.  

“Okay… okay.  Okay. Well…it could be worse. We could  _be_  that squirrel.”

“Yeah, instead, it just wants us to eat it. We really dodged a bullet, didn’t we?”

 


	40. 'Kitten Therapy' for anon

Darcy poked her head out the window in search of the sound.  If she didn’t know any better, she’d say it was a box of kittens.  But since they were in Clint’s apartment and about four floors up, she didn’t think that was actually what it was.

“BORK!” Lucky was practically prancing around behind her, staring at the window she was currently hanging out of.  It caught her eye there on the fire escape.  She’d have to go into the bedroom to access it, but there was definitely a box that hadn’t been there when they’d gone to bed last night.

Clint was perched on the counter in the kitchen, slurping the milk from a mostly eaten bowl of cereal when she and Lucky bounded through the kitchen and the bedroom door before finally opening the window out onto the fire escape.

“Holy shit, it  _is_  a box of kittens…” Darcy said, amazed.

“BORK!” Lucky added, impatient for her to bring his new tiny friends inside.

“What?” Clint’s feet thudded on the floor as he entered the room.

“Out on your fire escape, it’s a box of kittens… well, I mean… now it’s technically inside.”

She set the mewling box down on the floor and Lucky promptly tipped it, the kittens tumbling out onto the floor, spitting playfully at him. Lucky proceeded to lick one, which prompted all of them to swarm him for kisses.

Clint sighed in resignation. “So, Lucky has cats now.”

“He does.”

“I guess I need to go get one of those… litter box things.”

“Probably so, yep.”

 


	41. 'Soulmates' for ficsandteamakeahappyme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate AU where you know your soulmate's voice.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” she asked, tapping Clint on the arm out of habit.  

She didn’t know him all that well, she’d only really been acquainted with him for two weeks or so. But she’d learned rather quickly to announce her presence to him by tapping him lightly on the shoulder. The archer was deaf, and his hearing aids were ‘in the shop’, according to him.  

She hadn’t known sign language all that well two weeks ago either.

Which was why it was slow going for her and Barton there at the beginning.  

But, they were finally hitting their stride and she’d figured that everything would go more smoothly now that he had his hearing aids back.

Which was why his reaction threw her for a loop.  

She tapped him on the shoulder, asking him if he was ready to go, and he jumped a mile, like she’d snuck up on him or something.  

Clint peered at her, squinting slightly, like he was just now seeing her. “Say that again.”  

It was her turn to be rattled now.

That voice.  That voice had been in her head since she was sixteen.  She’d know that voice anywhere.  

The voice of her soulmate.

“Are you ready?” she repeated, slowly… in a monotone, because she couldn’t manage much more than that.

He gulped and nodded.  “Hell yeah, I’m ready.”

 


End file.
